Kids in Church

For whatever reason the Lord has convicted us to keep our kids in church.  We have seen many blessings from it on our end and have come to appreciate keeping them with us.  1.)  Instead of playing, snacks, and stories, they see that worship is singing, listening, and learning from the scriptures.  It involves being reverent and honoring, adoring and teachable.  It has amazed us what they pick up and bring home.  Even as soon as they can talk I've heard such things as, "Did you hear what Pastor said about those Romans?"   2.)  They see us pray together, and when Jeff's not preaching we always hold hand as we pray together.  3.)  They see us tithe.  Jeff is such a humble man he would never boast about what he gives to anyone, but when the children are in church they see him putting something in the plate.  4.)  Our hearts just feel more united as a family when we've shared the same experience, when we can relate or apply certain scripture to our lives that week. 
Now for the hard part, how to make a child sit through church?  That first year is basically in and out, and usually by a prayer do we both get to hear an entire sermon.  I have found it best to prepare a young one to sit still and listen to the bible study at home when Jeff does family devotions.  This way we can disperse discipline as needed and set the standard of what's expected.  I have also found it helpful to not bring any distractions.  No food, books, crayons, or toys.  They drop and cause further distraction and eventually become an issue of control and dispute which is very difficult to handle in church.  They usually find their own amusement by taking off a shoe, pulling up a dress, or picking their nose!

Protecting Your Marriage

On December 16, 2009, Jeff and I were married 20 years!  Every year we get so excited and celebrate, but this is a BIG number!  To us anyway!  I can only imagine how exciting it will be to hit 40 or Lord willing 50!  We have certainly had our share of bumps in the road but what has brought us the most joy is how we've protected our marriage.

It truly blesses my heart to know that Jeff will never be in a closed room alone with another woman.  He will never dine alone with another woman, even if it is for business.  When ever he has to travel for work he always calls every night to talk to me and the kids.  He has always been so careful with other women in that if they seek or need counsel that we will meet with her together, and a conversation would never get too intimate without me involved.  This has and can come across as somewhat rude to other women, they can't understand why he's not more open and talkative, but I certainly appreciate it! 

Society has gotten so used to divorce and broken families that they can even joke about it.  I get shocked when I hear such things about painful, hurtful things that tear up families and destroy the children involved.  This is a serious matter not to be taken lightly.  There is a wonderful book written by Jerry Jenkins called "Hedges, Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect it!" that really opened our eyes to purposely protecting our marriage.

We also pray together!  At home every night we gather as a family to pray, at meal time, and at church he holds my hand in such a sweet, special way, and he squeezes it every so often as he says certain things - I love that!

We date!  Ever since we have been married we have taken time to date.  It was really hard when we added children and needed to get a sitter.  Usually we would take the baby along with us their first year, until they were old enough to be left for a bit.  This got much easier when our oldest child was ready to babysit!  Jeff has always said that we are going to be married a lot longer than we are going to be parents!  So every month and occassionally more if needed, we will spend an evening together.  Whether it's just for a drive, a trip to Wal-mart, dinner or an ice cream cone, it's a joy to have him all to myself!

We say, "I love you!".  Every day our love is expressed verbally.  And he blesses my heart when he talks about his love for me to the children. 

He gives.  He blesses me with cards and flowers, even for no special occassion.  I say 'he' gives, because I don't have a job.  But he gives so generously with everything he has.  He pays attention when I'm out of money or gas and takes care of me so lovingly and thoughtfully!

We serve.  When you have a large family, there is a lot to do!  And being on the same team with the same goals in mind makes things go much smoother.  Whether it's sick kids, or I'm not feeling well, or the fridge and stove need to be pulled out to be cleaned behind, Jeff doesn't begrudge a bit and serves with such a giving heart! 

We talk!  He works at home so this is easy for us and I know it's not normal so I really do appreciate this luxury of having him around!  He pops up every so often or sometimes he will even call me on the phone from downstairs!  On the couch or in our room, his office, the shower, we have lots of time to talk.

We forgive!  This is one of the things that I admire most about Jeff, when he says he forgives, he really forgives.  He will never bring something up again from a past offense.  And he's always so quick to ask forgiveness if needed. 

We kiss!  Every morning.  Every time either of us go anywhere, even if it's just a quick trip to town, we always kiss good bye.  Always!  And every night we kiss goodnight and say, "I love you!".  There's even a few extra thrown in for good measure!  I love my man and am so thankful for him!

1 Corinthians 13

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, [fn] but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Love suffers long [and] is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails. But whether [there are] prophecies, they will fail; whether [there are] tongues, they will cease; whether [there is] knowledge, it will vanish away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these [is] love.

Keepers At Home

We have tried to show our kids that the greatest joy in life is obeying the scriptures. And if the scriptures say women should be keepers at home, then that's what we should do. Ironically, my OB told me that of all the women seen, the ones who are 'just wives and mothers' are the happiest of all women. The women who have jobs and take their kids to daycare are the ones who are unhappy, stressed and depressed and begging for anti depressant medication.

So we have purposefully tried to train our girls in areas where it would be helpful in being a keeper at home.  Where if they had to make an income they could do it from home.  They can sew, bake/cook, clean, play/teach music, crochet/crafts and make jewelry, and have a love for children and elderly. I'm almost fearful to say this because I in no way want to appear arrogant or prideful, but Megan (my oldest daughter) having a desire to be a wife and mother is one of the best compliments I have ever received! There are just not many girls out there desiring to be a keeper at home, a wife and mother.   She even gets a lot of flack from other Christians of how she should aspire for something greater which I think is very sad. Where are the Titus 2 women in this world?  Why aren't older women teaching younger women how to train their children so it's a joy to be with them all day?  Why isn't anyone stepping along side these young brides and showing them how to truly love their husbands so they can have a happy, fulfilled marriage?  Why are college and careers important if you want to have a family? 

Ever been to the grocery store on a Saturday?  It's full of working mothers and their out of control kids.  Or they have chosen to leave their kids one more day and shop by themselves.  These women are tired, stressed, and overwhelmed with daily life.  The children are lacking in time, attention, correction, manners and guidance.  Nobody is smiling.  Unhappiness and discontent just oozes from them all.  It breaks my heart!

We would not want our girls to work outside the home because of what the Bible says for one, and two, we just have not seen any good fruit come from that. In fact, most cases older girls who leave home to work are quickly swallowed up and devoured by the world. So we have no interest in that. Jeff has done a fantastic job of trying to meet our daughters' needs as well as their wants. They are not spoiled, and have a great appreciation for 2nd hand and the sales, but if one wants or needs material to make a dress for a new baby gift, or make a meal for a new mom, or something special, he's very quick to comply and really feels it's his responsibility to meet her needs until her husband takes over.  It's wonderful to see our daughters so carefree and not weighed down or stressed by such pressures to conform, or pay bills.  This also has helped them to be content with what's provided for her and she knows that her future husband may not have money for things such as material, so we've tried to instill a thankful heart for everything.  Megan does have a job teaching piano lessons, but because she's no need to pay bills, she can use it as a ministry.  She charges a minimal amount and it's a blessing not a burdensome job, and fills a couple of days a week.

For me, it was a huge adjustment from working full time, earning a paycheck to staying home with a new baby that is more demanding than entertaining.  I didn't know how to be content and thankful and had great pressure from the world to have the 'things' others had.  My position was looked down upon and frowned upon, and I was even pitied. At least until our children started to get older, evidence of God in our lives and the fruits of our labors started to show. 

Working outside the home gives a sense of accomplishment and is rewarded with a paycheck that can't compare with staying at home.  It always provides an 'out' when things get tough, instead of a dependence, trust, and appreciation for a husband that reinforces that bond of marriage.  The option is always there, even if far in the back of ones mind that 'if I had to, I could leave and make it on my own'.   But staying at home has rewards and blessings that are no where comparable to any job!

It's Megan's desire as well to stay under the authority and protection of her dad until that prince charming comes along. She has a purity ring with her dad's birthstone in it, which I just love! I can't say that this is something we have really hammered into her brain since she was young, but she has read a lot of really good books on this subject, and just studying the Bible herself.  She has also known a few girls who have made some really bad decisions in their own life.  When issues come up or I'm discipling someone, we walk them through the consequences of worldly decisions.  We try to help them understand the consequences of sin without having to be tempted by it or live through it. 

The hard part in all of this is that it usually comes back to me, how close my walk is to my talk.  My attitude and my desire to serve, and the level of my selfishness is usually noticed by everyone.  I'm very grateful for the joy that God has given me in being just a keeper at home!  Contentment is not common in women, let alone joy, but I have found it in obedience to His Word. 

It's been frustrating to us why churches/women don't encourage women/young ladies to be keepers at home like in Titus 2.   It's very sad and very hard to go against the grain, but we have to do what the Lord leads through His Word and our husbands, as we are only accountable to God and will stand before Him giving account of our own lives. No regrets!

From the Bottom Up!

There are some interesting characteristics that come with the birth order of children.  Some are by God's design and some are created by how a family functions.  Society always puts the older kids first, so at home we try to work it backwards.   It has been our purpose, if we need to call on or ask something of the children, that we always start at the bottom and work our way up.  We try to utilize what we feel is the youngest capable for the job.  They may eventually need help, but it's a delight to see their faces light up when they are asked to do something first!  We have found that this places importance on all the children, matures the younger children, and releives alot of the pressure of being the oldest.   It also allows us to function when the older ones are not around.  I think it forms a pattern for the older kids to think of the younger ones first, try to include them, and work along side of them.  There are plenty of things that older children get to do first, sit up front, use a knife,  drive, etc.  So whether it's a chore, a game, talking on the phone with Dad, or calling them all together, we always try to give everyone a chance to go first, and start from the bottom up!

Working Women

We were in the Emergency room at the hospital for about 8 hours.  Our little 'room' with just a curtain as a door just happened to be right outside the nurses station.  There was a lot of activity going on and Jeff and I found it unavoidable to tune things out, and the volume wouldn't even work on our TV, so we were forced to listen in.  As the curtain was opened I could easily see that the conversations going on were between men and women who were all wearing wedding rings.  It was obvious that they were having fun, enjoying their job, poking fun at each other and talking about their kids and spouses and even other co-workers.  But often times the conversation turned vulgar.  Completely inappropriate.  Things were shared that should only be shared between a husband and wife, yet here it was fair game.  Jeff said something to them that it was very unprofessional to have to hear them all carrying on like they were, but it didn't stop them at all.

I couldn't help to think how many marriages would never crumble if women were keepers at home.  I found myself praying for these strangers that God would protect their marriages, protect the spouse that will never hear part of these conversations, and convict these people that they are crossing a very dangerous line.  More than half of marriages fail in this country, Christian and non-Christian alike.  And most people don't understand that through time spent and conversations had is just an invitation for a very painful path.

Jeff works out of our home, but has occasion where he has to meet with other women.  Sometimes he has come across as even rude, but he will not dine with another woman by himself.  And if he has to meet, they are in a public setting like a lobby.  He does not share private information about his family or allow the conversation to go in any emotional/personal direction.  The book "Hedges:  Loving your marriage enough to protect it!" by Jerry Jenkins was very helpful in developing a standard for the both of us. 

I've been asked several times from friends who have been thinking about going to work, and this is what I have come up with as a response:

First I would have to suggest that you go to God's Word. What does it say about women working? I would come away with that the husband is to lead and the wife is to submit. And women should be keepers at home. Avoid debt. And God will provide food, clothing and shelter, everything we need.

Would your employment put you under the authority of another man?  I personally have a problem with women under the authority of another man, outside the home. I think it feeds an independent spirit, a sense of accomplishment and the reward of a paycheck that gives a sense of gratitude that homemaking just can't match. I also think it crushes the husbands spirit and pride. I think it gives them a sense of failure and embarrassment for not being able to meet his families' needs, for having to send his wife out to work, and now everyone else in the world knows it.  This scab is picked every day as well as the stress, tiredness and bitterness of a working wife.  That's hard, if not down right impossible on a marriage.

Are your children with someone else's standards and values? No matter how much you love a child and no matter whether you're related or not, there is no one better to raise a child than their mom and dad.  Kids are smart and they know if a mom is working to put food on the table or for all the frills in life.  It's amazing what our country has become accustom to along the 'necessity' line.  If I ever had to go to work, outside the home, it would be after we have sold everything, lived under a bridge and needed food.  My kids would know that it was a last resort and my greatest desire is to be a keeper at home.  Nowadays, women are working to have a 2nd car, a fancy car, glamorous vacations, to keep an unaffordable home, pay off a shopping debt, give the kids fabulous birthday parties, the list of fluff could go on forever.  Kids don't care about any of this!  And when they are adults and have to make such decisions for their own family, they will reflect on our example and it will either help or hinder them.  They will eventually know what really was important to us!  And please don't ever be fooled in regards to the quality vs. quantity time spent with children. It's ALL quantity in the eyes of a child. 

Does employment allow you to have fellowship with God every day?  Do you have time to read your Bible?  Pray?  Find and memorize scripture to help in areas needed?  Do you have time to teach such truths to your children?  I've had days where we're gone all day and have to come home to dinner and laundry and something has to give!  It's usually the children that get slighted, and God. 

There are so many options of working from home, but with little kids still in such need of mom it would be very hard and things to watch out for would be stress levels, neglect of kids, time consumed, lack of fruit.  Child care, stuffing envelopes, telephone work, book work, the options are endless.

I know of several friends who's husbands deliver pizza's Friday night, cut wood, or have started a side business in times of need. Their wives are bursting with pride towards their husbands, full of thankfulness that they are willing to do anything to allow them to be home with their children.

I also know women who have no desire to be with their children all day every day.  They don't like being around their children.  And I think it's a vicious cycle where lack of time, attention and training from parents cycles in misbehaving children,  robbing them both of a love to be together.

This time we have as parents is fleeting!  No one is promised tomorrow so we must make the most of today!  An employer will have no recollection of what you gave them 50 years from now.  But your children and your grandchildren will reap what you've sown for all eternity!

Marriage

Occassionally my husband will write out most of his sermons, here is one of my favorites!

Submission


Philippians 2:7-8 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. (1850)

Biblical submission is placing one's self willingly under the authority of another. It is not slavery. Jesus relationship to His Father is our example.

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

You are equal in essence and in value to the Lord.
There is a difference between essence and function. Both of you are equal in essence, but should differ in function.

I Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1779)

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. (1839)

Husbands have to place themselves under God's authority in order to make their authority in the family legitimate

Men, you have authority in your homes, no question about it. But your authority is limited to what you are supposed to do, not to whatever you want to do. A husband should not misuse his wife's submission to get what he wants or to "put her in her place".

How a man responds to the authority of God in his life determines how his wife will fare in their marriage. (Submit to him?)

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. (1943)

When a wife willingly submits to her husband, she is not just saying yes to him. She is saying yes to the Lord.

The godly wife honors her husband's desire to be a leader by giving him the support he needs in order to be what God has called him to be.

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Woman was created to come alongside man and assist him. She was never meant to bear alone the responsibility for the home and family.

God does not ask wives to sacrifice their intellect or abilities. He asks them to wed their skills with those of their husband.

Expectations & Commitment

Mark 10:7-9 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (1514)

God intended marriage to be solid, binding, and enduring.

I Corinthianss 13:6-7 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (1785)

It only takes a few minutes to get married, but it takes a lifetime to keep a marriage thriving.

The test of commitment does not come when you are at the altar, but further down the road. It actually does not take much commitment to get married. But it takes tremendous commitment to stay married instead of quitting if there comes a time when the marriage needs work.

There are no shortcuts to building a healthy, loving, and caring marriage. It is a lifetime process of growth, development, and problem-solving. It requires time, tears, hard work, and sacrifice

Anyone who believes otherwise has been reading too many fairy tales.

Romans 12:10 [Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another (1754)

Putting the other first is critically important because you're going into the marriage with hundreds of differing expectations.

Conflicts

Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (1867)

Conflicts are normal, natural, and to be expected.

Learn how to settle disagreements.
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: (1837)

Settle conflicts with your mate or your children before the end of each day.

Ephesians 3:16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; (1834)

Conflicts in marriage should not destroy the union. They should show the power of Christ within us.

Agape love
I John 3:16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. (1966)
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (1738)
Biblical love is commitment love. It is not simply how you feel. Agape love is not discussion love. It is more than words that sound good. It is what you do. Agape love is always demonstrated love.

The spiritual strength of your marriage will be determined by the degree to which you keep the vow of unconditional love that you will make to each other at the wedding altar

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (183)

Biblical love is sacrificial.
Ephesians 5:28-29 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (1840)

A husband's love for his wife is measured by actions, not by vocabulary. It is measure by what he does for her, not by what he says.

Agape love is different from other loves because it is acting on someone else's behalf without expecting anything in return. Love without demanding anything in return.

I Corinthians 13:4-5 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Money

Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (1840)

Discussions of "my money, your money" Christian husbands and wives is inconsistent with biblical teachings. The Bible makes it clear that "the two shall become one flesh, and that means one in every way. In marriage money needs to be considered "ours" rather than "mine" and "yours", or you are headed for problems.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. (1934)

If you can't afford it, don't buy it.

Culture

I John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. (1963)

The world is trying to influence us.

Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
A noble wife is one who had decided that her home comes first.

For a wife and mother, loving her home means deciding consciously that her home comes before everything else in the human sphere.

In society today we have a huge percentage of women in the work force. Our homes are feeling the effect of this; I don't see any evidence of Christian homes being improved by outside activities.

Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (949)

The world says the more children you have the poorer you are. The Bible says "the more children you have the richer you are"

Traps

Oneness

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.

A husband must cleave to his wife. The word cleaves means to "stick like glue" or to "attach oneself in a viselike grip"

Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

God made marriage in such a way that no third party has a right to interfere with the married couple's relationship.

I Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. (1771)

Whatever our marital status, the Bible warns us to run from immorality. The idea is to skate where the ice is thickest, not thinnest.

Prayer

I Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing (1878)

Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (1857)

Psalm 88:13 But unto thee have I cried, O LORD; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee. (918)

Prayer is not the only thing you need to do. It is just the first thing you need to do.

Prayer needs to our first response to a need, not a last resort.

Prayer is our way of saying "I'm banking on you God"

Often a wife will ask her husband, "do you love me?" His answer may be "you know I love you." No she doesn't! You have to keep telling her, keep showing her that she is your one and only. John 15:12

A man should come to give not to get. He should seek to serve his wife and family, even when he is tired and hungry and has had a rough day at work. Acts 20:35

God's word says husbands need to know their wives. They need to understand what makes them tick. It will pay huge dividends. I Peter 3:7

Arrange the inside so it is even more beautiful than the outside. I Peter 3:4

One of the best gifts a godly man can give his family is a sense of stability in this unstable world. I Corinthians 15:58
A godly man is a man of compassion and mercy. He is a protector of the helpless.

Job 29:12, 16

I recommend the HAT formula for decision making at home. Hold off on all decisions if you are Hungry, Angry, or Tired. James 1:19,20
Christian marriage is wonderful, but it is not a cure-all. If your relationship with Christ is not rich and satisfying before marriage, nothing magical will happen when you get married.

Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

Money

When Jeff and I were first married we weren't very wise with money. We didn't prepare for the lean times ahead and they came with a vim! We weren't planning on having children for quite a while and therefore didn't have health insurance. So our first 2 babies brought $18,000 in debt.  Business was not going well at all. We were charging our food to eat. We were in debt far more than he made in a year! We had one junky car, a card table to eat on that had 3 wobaly legs. No washer or dryer. No matching furniture. In fact we only had a couch to sit on, that was it other than the metal folding chairs at our dinning room card table. (When ever someone stopped by we had to move the folding chairs in front of the couch.) A one bedroom apartment with a loft that smelled of the previous renters' ferrets. And found out that we were expecting child number 3. Lean times indeed. They were hard. Miserable. Stressful on our marriage. Did I mention miserable?

Looking back, I'd choose to go through them all again if it brought the same fruit, the same faith and trust that God provided!

The Lord used our situation to bring us to salvation. I remember the first part of October, after we were saved for about 6 months. All I had to wear to church was my tennis shoes and white sandals that I wore all summer. Jeff was convicted that we should start tithing and I was convicted that I needed some brown shoes so I wouldn't have to wear my worn out white sandals or my grungy tennis shoes to church! We could start tithing right after I got my shoes! Well, he won, and we started tithing. I was not the cheerful giver at the time! The very next month someone sent us a gift of $4,000. I got my brown shoes.

We were newly saved, maybe 2 years in our Christian walk, and God directed Cutco to offer Jeff a position in WI, we had to take it. It was more money, but not what we needed to get out of debt. But we didn't have many options so we moved when Daniel was 4 months old.  That was a hard move with 3 little ones 5 and under!  We lived in an apartment in Waukesha for the first 6 months, then found our duplex in Brookfield and rented there for 6 years.

Jeff has had a personal conviction for me to stay at home, and God honored that financially. Things started looking up. We found chairs in our neighbors garbage, that were a puky green and a throw up yellow. They didn't match anything, but they were something else for the 6 of us to sit on other than our couch. (A friend of ours would comment every time she visited in regards to the chairs: "You know you can cover those with something instead of looking at that color all the time!") We found a good deal on a dinning room table and we no longer had to set our drinks on the counter by Jeff and ask him to pass them to us because the card table was too wobbly to hold drinks.

5 years later we were completely out of debt, ready to buy our first house. Jeff was a changed man. The stress was gone. Megan was 12 years old before we ever could afford or owned our own house. But she didn't care about that. Her memories are of us being together as a family, of me being home with her.  Here, we were able to buy our first 'new' living room furniture, and put the old stuff in the basement. Jeff said that we could get rid of those puky colored chairs now, but I wanted to keep them. I want to always be reminded how God supplied a need and saw us through. I always want to remember and remind our children that there were some tough times. (I also want to show my friend whenever she visits because I still haven't covered them! ;-)

We are one and I wanted to help in any way I could. Being frugal, clipping coupons, second hand shopping, etc. I baby sat for a year or so, but that was really hard with my own little ones, being sick and pregnant, sleepless nights. I would help Jeff stuff envelopes, roll up flyers and whatever else to make things as easy for him. I believe the absolute best way to help a husband is to be content. No murmuring or complaining. I think the Lord kept us in the desert until I learned this concept well!

I firmly believe, without a single doubt, that the only reason we are so blessed today is because Jeff stayed true to God's Word. Satan surely tempted and made us wonder. But God's ways are so much better. I'm so thankful for these stories that I can pass down to our children. How I can share with our boys the hero their dad was during the hard times. How he stood firm and steadfast, worked hard and long just to provide for his family. And if we do something extra or special we explain that this is a blessing, and they always say thanks to Jeff and God for taking them out to eat or on a bike ride or on a vacation.

That's my experience. My opinion is...seek God! Trust His Word, follow willingly whatever path He has for you! Encourage your husband in any way you can. Show him thankfulness in whatever he is able to provide for you. Study the content heart, and share what you've learned with your children. One lady told me when I was griping about our situation, "If God doesn't provide it through your husband, He doesn't want you to have it!". That hit me hard and has stayed with me since!

Your decisions are also discipling and shaping your children. They are watching closely what you do, what you think is important. Do they see you trusting in God in the lean times? Even thanking Him? Following and staying true to His Word, come what may? Counting your blessings, and grateful that no one has had to go to bed hungry, that you still have a place to call home, and have such love and joy from just being together. Someone once told us that one of the worst things you could ever do to your children is to let them know you have money. That things come easy for them, that they never have to do without. The lessons our children have learned from our experience is priceless. Praying for certain things, and seeing God answer them is amazing! This was but a season, but God will work it out for good!