Keepers At Home

We have tried to show our kids that the greatest joy in life is obeying the scriptures. And if the scriptures say women should be keepers at home, then that's what we should do. Ironically, my OB told me that of all the women seen, the ones who are 'just wives and mothers' are the happiest of all women. The women who have jobs and take their kids to daycare are the ones who are unhappy, stressed and depressed and begging for anti depressant medication.

So we have purposefully tried to train our girls in areas where it would be helpful in being a keeper at home.  Where if they had to make an income they could do it from home.  They can sew, bake/cook, clean, play/teach music, crochet/crafts and make jewelry, and have a love for children and elderly. I'm almost fearful to say this because I in no way want to appear arrogant or prideful, but Megan (my oldest daughter) having a desire to be a wife and mother is one of the best compliments I have ever received! There are just not many girls out there desiring to be a keeper at home, a wife and mother.   She even gets a lot of flack from other Christians of how she should aspire for something greater which I think is very sad. Where are the Titus 2 women in this world?  Why aren't older women teaching younger women how to train their children so it's a joy to be with them all day?  Why isn't anyone stepping along side these young brides and showing them how to truly love their husbands so they can have a happy, fulfilled marriage?  Why are college and careers important if you want to have a family? 

Ever been to the grocery store on a Saturday?  It's full of working mothers and their out of control kids.  Or they have chosen to leave their kids one more day and shop by themselves.  These women are tired, stressed, and overwhelmed with daily life.  The children are lacking in time, attention, correction, manners and guidance.  Nobody is smiling.  Unhappiness and discontent just oozes from them all.  It breaks my heart!

We would not want our girls to work outside the home because of what the Bible says for one, and two, we just have not seen any good fruit come from that. In fact, most cases older girls who leave home to work are quickly swallowed up and devoured by the world. So we have no interest in that. Jeff has done a fantastic job of trying to meet our daughters' needs as well as their wants. They are not spoiled, and have a great appreciation for 2nd hand and the sales, but if one wants or needs material to make a dress for a new baby gift, or make a meal for a new mom, or something special, he's very quick to comply and really feels it's his responsibility to meet her needs until her husband takes over.  It's wonderful to see our daughters so carefree and not weighed down or stressed by such pressures to conform, or pay bills.  This also has helped them to be content with what's provided for her and she knows that her future husband may not have money for things such as material, so we've tried to instill a thankful heart for everything.  Megan does have a job teaching piano lessons, but because she's no need to pay bills, she can use it as a ministry.  She charges a minimal amount and it's a blessing not a burdensome job, and fills a couple of days a week.

For me, it was a huge adjustment from working full time, earning a paycheck to staying home with a new baby that is more demanding than entertaining.  I didn't know how to be content and thankful and had great pressure from the world to have the 'things' others had.  My position was looked down upon and frowned upon, and I was even pitied. At least until our children started to get older, evidence of God in our lives and the fruits of our labors started to show. 

Working outside the home gives a sense of accomplishment and is rewarded with a paycheck that can't compare with staying at home.  It always provides an 'out' when things get tough, instead of a dependence, trust, and appreciation for a husband that reinforces that bond of marriage.  The option is always there, even if far in the back of ones mind that 'if I had to, I could leave and make it on my own'.   But staying at home has rewards and blessings that are no where comparable to any job!

It's Megan's desire as well to stay under the authority and protection of her dad until that prince charming comes along. She has a purity ring with her dad's birthstone in it, which I just love! I can't say that this is something we have really hammered into her brain since she was young, but she has read a lot of really good books on this subject, and just studying the Bible herself.  She has also known a few girls who have made some really bad decisions in their own life.  When issues come up or I'm discipling someone, we walk them through the consequences of worldly decisions.  We try to help them understand the consequences of sin without having to be tempted by it or live through it. 

The hard part in all of this is that it usually comes back to me, how close my walk is to my talk.  My attitude and my desire to serve, and the level of my selfishness is usually noticed by everyone.  I'm very grateful for the joy that God has given me in being just a keeper at home!  Contentment is not common in women, let alone joy, but I have found it in obedience to His Word. 

It's been frustrating to us why churches/women don't encourage women/young ladies to be keepers at home like in Titus 2.   It's very sad and very hard to go against the grain, but we have to do what the Lord leads through His Word and our husbands, as we are only accountable to God and will stand before Him giving account of our own lives. No regrets!

From the Bottom Up!

There are some interesting characteristics that come with the birth order of children.  Some are by God's design and some are created by how a family functions.  Society always puts the older kids first, so at home we try to work it backwards.   It has been our purpose, if we need to call on or ask something of the children, that we always start at the bottom and work our way up.  We try to utilize what we feel is the youngest capable for the job.  They may eventually need help, but it's a delight to see their faces light up when they are asked to do something first!  We have found that this places importance on all the children, matures the younger children, and releives alot of the pressure of being the oldest.   It also allows us to function when the older ones are not around.  I think it forms a pattern for the older kids to think of the younger ones first, try to include them, and work along side of them.  There are plenty of things that older children get to do first, sit up front, use a knife,  drive, etc.  So whether it's a chore, a game, talking on the phone with Dad, or calling them all together, we always try to give everyone a chance to go first, and start from the bottom up!

Working Women

We were in the Emergency room at the hospital for about 8 hours.  Our little 'room' with just a curtain as a door just happened to be right outside the nurses station.  There was a lot of activity going on and Jeff and I found it unavoidable to tune things out, and the volume wouldn't even work on our TV, so we were forced to listen in.  As the curtain was opened I could easily see that the conversations going on were between men and women who were all wearing wedding rings.  It was obvious that they were having fun, enjoying their job, poking fun at each other and talking about their kids and spouses and even other co-workers.  But often times the conversation turned vulgar.  Completely inappropriate.  Things were shared that should only be shared between a husband and wife, yet here it was fair game.  Jeff said something to them that it was very unprofessional to have to hear them all carrying on like they were, but it didn't stop them at all.

I couldn't help to think how many marriages would never crumble if women were keepers at home.  I found myself praying for these strangers that God would protect their marriages, protect the spouse that will never hear part of these conversations, and convict these people that they are crossing a very dangerous line.  More than half of marriages fail in this country, Christian and non-Christian alike.  And most people don't understand that through time spent and conversations had is just an invitation for a very painful path.

Jeff works out of our home, but has occasion where he has to meet with other women.  Sometimes he has come across as even rude, but he will not dine with another woman by himself.  And if he has to meet, they are in a public setting like a lobby.  He does not share private information about his family or allow the conversation to go in any emotional/personal direction.  The book "Hedges:  Loving your marriage enough to protect it!" by Jerry Jenkins was very helpful in developing a standard for the both of us. 

I've been asked several times from friends who have been thinking about going to work, and this is what I have come up with as a response:

First I would have to suggest that you go to God's Word. What does it say about women working? I would come away with that the husband is to lead and the wife is to submit. And women should be keepers at home. Avoid debt. And God will provide food, clothing and shelter, everything we need.

Would your employment put you under the authority of another man?  I personally have a problem with women under the authority of another man, outside the home. I think it feeds an independent spirit, a sense of accomplishment and the reward of a paycheck that gives a sense of gratitude that homemaking just can't match. I also think it crushes the husbands spirit and pride. I think it gives them a sense of failure and embarrassment for not being able to meet his families' needs, for having to send his wife out to work, and now everyone else in the world knows it.  This scab is picked every day as well as the stress, tiredness and bitterness of a working wife.  That's hard, if not down right impossible on a marriage.

Are your children with someone else's standards and values? No matter how much you love a child and no matter whether you're related or not, there is no one better to raise a child than their mom and dad.  Kids are smart and they know if a mom is working to put food on the table or for all the frills in life.  It's amazing what our country has become accustom to along the 'necessity' line.  If I ever had to go to work, outside the home, it would be after we have sold everything, lived under a bridge and needed food.  My kids would know that it was a last resort and my greatest desire is to be a keeper at home.  Nowadays, women are working to have a 2nd car, a fancy car, glamorous vacations, to keep an unaffordable home, pay off a shopping debt, give the kids fabulous birthday parties, the list of fluff could go on forever.  Kids don't care about any of this!  And when they are adults and have to make such decisions for their own family, they will reflect on our example and it will either help or hinder them.  They will eventually know what really was important to us!  And please don't ever be fooled in regards to the quality vs. quantity time spent with children. It's ALL quantity in the eyes of a child. 

Does employment allow you to have fellowship with God every day?  Do you have time to read your Bible?  Pray?  Find and memorize scripture to help in areas needed?  Do you have time to teach such truths to your children?  I've had days where we're gone all day and have to come home to dinner and laundry and something has to give!  It's usually the children that get slighted, and God. 

There are so many options of working from home, but with little kids still in such need of mom it would be very hard and things to watch out for would be stress levels, neglect of kids, time consumed, lack of fruit.  Child care, stuffing envelopes, telephone work, book work, the options are endless.

I know of several friends who's husbands deliver pizza's Friday night, cut wood, or have started a side business in times of need. Their wives are bursting with pride towards their husbands, full of thankfulness that they are willing to do anything to allow them to be home with their children.

I also know women who have no desire to be with their children all day every day.  They don't like being around their children.  And I think it's a vicious cycle where lack of time, attention and training from parents cycles in misbehaving children,  robbing them both of a love to be together.

This time we have as parents is fleeting!  No one is promised tomorrow so we must make the most of today!  An employer will have no recollection of what you gave them 50 years from now.  But your children and your grandchildren will reap what you've sown for all eternity!

Marriage

Occassionally my husband will write out most of his sermons, here is one of my favorites!

Submission


Philippians 2:7-8 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. (1850)

Biblical submission is placing one's self willingly under the authority of another. It is not slavery. Jesus relationship to His Father is our example.

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

You are equal in essence and in value to the Lord.
There is a difference between essence and function. Both of you are equal in essence, but should differ in function.

I Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (1779)

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. (1839)

Husbands have to place themselves under God's authority in order to make their authority in the family legitimate

Men, you have authority in your homes, no question about it. But your authority is limited to what you are supposed to do, not to whatever you want to do. A husband should not misuse his wife's submission to get what he wants or to "put her in her place".

How a man responds to the authority of God in his life determines how his wife will fare in their marriage. (Submit to him?)

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. (1943)

When a wife willingly submits to her husband, she is not just saying yes to him. She is saying yes to the Lord.

The godly wife honors her husband's desire to be a leader by giving him the support he needs in order to be what God has called him to be.

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Woman was created to come alongside man and assist him. She was never meant to bear alone the responsibility for the home and family.

God does not ask wives to sacrifice their intellect or abilities. He asks them to wed their skills with those of their husband.

Expectations & Commitment

Mark 10:7-9 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (1514)

God intended marriage to be solid, binding, and enduring.

I Corinthianss 13:6-7 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (1785)

It only takes a few minutes to get married, but it takes a lifetime to keep a marriage thriving.

The test of commitment does not come when you are at the altar, but further down the road. It actually does not take much commitment to get married. But it takes tremendous commitment to stay married instead of quitting if there comes a time when the marriage needs work.

There are no shortcuts to building a healthy, loving, and caring marriage. It is a lifetime process of growth, development, and problem-solving. It requires time, tears, hard work, and sacrifice

Anyone who believes otherwise has been reading too many fairy tales.

Romans 12:10 [Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another (1754)

Putting the other first is critically important because you're going into the marriage with hundreds of differing expectations.

Conflicts

Colossians 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. (1867)

Conflicts are normal, natural, and to be expected.

Learn how to settle disagreements.
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: (1837)

Settle conflicts with your mate or your children before the end of each day.

Ephesians 3:16 That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; (1834)

Conflicts in marriage should not destroy the union. They should show the power of Christ within us.

Agape love
I John 3:16 Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. (1966)
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (1738)
Biblical love is commitment love. It is not simply how you feel. Agape love is not discussion love. It is more than words that sound good. It is what you do. Agape love is always demonstrated love.

The spiritual strength of your marriage will be determined by the degree to which you keep the vow of unconditional love that you will make to each other at the wedding altar

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (183)

Biblical love is sacrificial.
Ephesians 5:28-29 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (1840)

A husband's love for his wife is measured by actions, not by vocabulary. It is measure by what he does for her, not by what he says.

Agape love is different from other loves because it is acting on someone else's behalf without expecting anything in return. Love without demanding anything in return.

I Corinthians 13:4-5 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Money

Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. (1840)

Discussions of "my money, your money" Christian husbands and wives is inconsistent with biblical teachings. The Bible makes it clear that "the two shall become one flesh, and that means one in every way. In marriage money needs to be considered "ours" rather than "mine" and "yours", or you are headed for problems.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. (1934)

If you can't afford it, don't buy it.

Culture

I John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. (1963)

The world is trying to influence us.

Titus 2:4-5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
A noble wife is one who had decided that her home comes first.

For a wife and mother, loving her home means deciding consciously that her home comes before everything else in the human sphere.

In society today we have a huge percentage of women in the work force. Our homes are feeling the effect of this; I don't see any evidence of Christian homes being improved by outside activities.

Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. (949)

The world says the more children you have the poorer you are. The Bible says "the more children you have the richer you are"

Traps

Oneness

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.

A husband must cleave to his wife. The word cleaves means to "stick like glue" or to "attach oneself in a viselike grip"

Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

God made marriage in such a way that no third party has a right to interfere with the married couple's relationship.

I Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. (1771)

Whatever our marital status, the Bible warns us to run from immorality. The idea is to skate where the ice is thickest, not thinnest.

Prayer

I Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing (1878)

Philippians 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. (1857)

Psalm 88:13 But unto thee have I cried, O LORD; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee. (918)

Prayer is not the only thing you need to do. It is just the first thing you need to do.

Prayer needs to our first response to a need, not a last resort.

Prayer is our way of saying "I'm banking on you God"

Often a wife will ask her husband, "do you love me?" His answer may be "you know I love you." No she doesn't! You have to keep telling her, keep showing her that she is your one and only. John 15:12

A man should come to give not to get. He should seek to serve his wife and family, even when he is tired and hungry and has had a rough day at work. Acts 20:35

God's word says husbands need to know their wives. They need to understand what makes them tick. It will pay huge dividends. I Peter 3:7

Arrange the inside so it is even more beautiful than the outside. I Peter 3:4

One of the best gifts a godly man can give his family is a sense of stability in this unstable world. I Corinthians 15:58
A godly man is a man of compassion and mercy. He is a protector of the helpless.

Job 29:12, 16

I recommend the HAT formula for decision making at home. Hold off on all decisions if you are Hungry, Angry, or Tired. James 1:19,20
Christian marriage is wonderful, but it is not a cure-all. If your relationship with Christ is not rich and satisfying before marriage, nothing magical will happen when you get married.

Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.

Money

When Jeff and I were first married we weren't very wise with money. We didn't prepare for the lean times ahead and they came with a vim! We weren't planning on having children for quite a while and therefore didn't have health insurance. So our first 2 babies brought $18,000 in debt.  Business was not going well at all. We were charging our food to eat. We were in debt far more than he made in a year! We had one junky car, a card table to eat on that had 3 wobaly legs. No washer or dryer. No matching furniture. In fact we only had a couch to sit on, that was it other than the metal folding chairs at our dinning room card table. (When ever someone stopped by we had to move the folding chairs in front of the couch.) A one bedroom apartment with a loft that smelled of the previous renters' ferrets. And found out that we were expecting child number 3. Lean times indeed. They were hard. Miserable. Stressful on our marriage. Did I mention miserable?

Looking back, I'd choose to go through them all again if it brought the same fruit, the same faith and trust that God provided!

The Lord used our situation to bring us to salvation. I remember the first part of October, after we were saved for about 6 months. All I had to wear to church was my tennis shoes and white sandals that I wore all summer. Jeff was convicted that we should start tithing and I was convicted that I needed some brown shoes so I wouldn't have to wear my worn out white sandals or my grungy tennis shoes to church! We could start tithing right after I got my shoes! Well, he won, and we started tithing. I was not the cheerful giver at the time! The very next month someone sent us a gift of $4,000. I got my brown shoes.

We were newly saved, maybe 2 years in our Christian walk, and God directed Cutco to offer Jeff a position in WI, we had to take it. It was more money, but not what we needed to get out of debt. But we didn't have many options so we moved when Daniel was 4 months old.  That was a hard move with 3 little ones 5 and under!  We lived in an apartment in Waukesha for the first 6 months, then found our duplex in Brookfield and rented there for 6 years.

Jeff has had a personal conviction for me to stay at home, and God honored that financially. Things started looking up. We found chairs in our neighbors garbage, that were a puky green and a throw up yellow. They didn't match anything, but they were something else for the 6 of us to sit on other than our couch. (A friend of ours would comment every time she visited in regards to the chairs: "You know you can cover those with something instead of looking at that color all the time!") We found a good deal on a dinning room table and we no longer had to set our drinks on the counter by Jeff and ask him to pass them to us because the card table was too wobbly to hold drinks.

5 years later we were completely out of debt, ready to buy our first house. Jeff was a changed man. The stress was gone. Megan was 12 years old before we ever could afford or owned our own house. But she didn't care about that. Her memories are of us being together as a family, of me being home with her.  Here, we were able to buy our first 'new' living room furniture, and put the old stuff in the basement. Jeff said that we could get rid of those puky colored chairs now, but I wanted to keep them. I want to always be reminded how God supplied a need and saw us through. I always want to remember and remind our children that there were some tough times. (I also want to show my friend whenever she visits because I still haven't covered them! ;-)

We are one and I wanted to help in any way I could. Being frugal, clipping coupons, second hand shopping, etc. I baby sat for a year or so, but that was really hard with my own little ones, being sick and pregnant, sleepless nights. I would help Jeff stuff envelopes, roll up flyers and whatever else to make things as easy for him. I believe the absolute best way to help a husband is to be content. No murmuring or complaining. I think the Lord kept us in the desert until I learned this concept well!

I firmly believe, without a single doubt, that the only reason we are so blessed today is because Jeff stayed true to God's Word. Satan surely tempted and made us wonder. But God's ways are so much better. I'm so thankful for these stories that I can pass down to our children. How I can share with our boys the hero their dad was during the hard times. How he stood firm and steadfast, worked hard and long just to provide for his family. And if we do something extra or special we explain that this is a blessing, and they always say thanks to Jeff and God for taking them out to eat or on a bike ride or on a vacation.

That's my experience. My opinion is...seek God! Trust His Word, follow willingly whatever path He has for you! Encourage your husband in any way you can. Show him thankfulness in whatever he is able to provide for you. Study the content heart, and share what you've learned with your children. One lady told me when I was griping about our situation, "If God doesn't provide it through your husband, He doesn't want you to have it!". That hit me hard and has stayed with me since!

Your decisions are also discipling and shaping your children. They are watching closely what you do, what you think is important. Do they see you trusting in God in the lean times? Even thanking Him? Following and staying true to His Word, come what may? Counting your blessings, and grateful that no one has had to go to bed hungry, that you still have a place to call home, and have such love and joy from just being together. Someone once told us that one of the worst things you could ever do to your children is to let them know you have money. That things come easy for them, that they never have to do without. The lessons our children have learned from our experience is priceless. Praying for certain things, and seeing God answer them is amazing! This was but a season, but God will work it out for good!

10 Steps to Spanking

We have the set standard that when Jeff is around, he is the one to spank. And when he's not, it's up to me. I think this has worked wonderfully because it really shows that he is the leader, yet completely supportive of me. So even if an offense was against me I will tell them to go tell Dad you need a spanking. Then the offender will come back to me to apologize. Then when he is gone I 'help' him. So I'm not the one always spanking, leading and correcting.

We use a craft glue stick for a rod. It's flexible but provides a sting. Plus it can be easily transported! ;-) The consequences have to be greater than the desire to sin. God designed us to avoid pain. At times when I find that I'm spanking for the same thing over and over, it's usually because they have too much added protection (diaper or thick clothing), or I'm not spanking hard enough.

We will give a warning with each new dawn for the little ones. After that they get a swat for every year they are old up to 10. Our thought on that is as they get older they should be getting wiser. If they need to be spanked for the same thing, I will add extra for each 'reminder', for each time we have to go through the process.

Children should take responsibility for their actions and recieve consequences graciously. If there is ever any struggle or defiance on assuming a position then it will add to the number of swats. I in no way want to wrestle or struggle. The only reason I am administering this is because God commands me to do so. If I don't than I'm not obeying God! And I will share this with our children as well. We make it clear that it was their decision to disobey, and there are always consequences to our actions.

We feel that immediate obedience is God's standard. (Examples of Jonah) Obeying right away happily and completely. We have found that it is also a huge safety issue, if they are ready to do something that will harm them, we don't want to yell "Stop!" three different times before they obey. Now you know that after spending any amount of time with our kids that this isn't always the case. But it's our goal, and something we daily strive for. At some seasons we feel like we really have to crack down and stalk them to correct any little thing, then others where we can rest in our efforts and enjoy the blessings of kids that are wonderful to be around.

We send them to a private room so we can humble them not humiliate them, and there we go through these 10 steps:
10 Steps to Spanking


· (1) Immediately send them to privacy
· (2) Take a few moments to pray and calm down
· (3) Time of discussion. Child must be brought to confession of sin. Why are we here?
· (4) Exhibit emotional response: sin causes grief, not anger. (James 1:20 The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God) “I am so sorry you made this decision to sin”
· (5) “What does the Bible say that I need to do now?” Proverbs 19:18, 20:30, 22:15, 23:13, 26:3, 29:15,17
· (6) Assume position for receiving payment of sin. Chasten privately so that they suffer physically, but are not humiliated.
· (7) Pray together, asking God to purify hearts and help make better choices in the future, apply scripture to sin..
· (8) Hug until they let go first.
· (9) Make restitution (clean up mess) seek forgiveness to all involved.
· (10) Repeat as necessary and pray some more!


Proverbs 12:1 Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish (stupid).

Proverbs 13:1 A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner (scoffer) heareth not (does not listen or heed) rebuke.

Proverbs 15:5 A fool desiseth his father’s instruction; but he that regardeth reproof is prudent.

Proverbs 15:10 Correction is grievous unto him that forsaketh the way; and he that hateth reproof shall die.

Proberbs 15:32 He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.

Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 20:30 The blueness of a wound (blows that wound) cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Proverbs 26:3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool’s back.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod an dreproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto they children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

This was adapted from a sermon from Reb Bradley.  It is comforting and calming to know just what to do next, have a plan to follow. It keeps all the emotion out of it and lets you take care of business!

In the beginning....

My Testimony
I have known ever since I was a small child that all I ever wanted to do was be a wife and mother. I'm a people watcher, and all my growing up years I collected mental notes of things I would never do or wanted to do when that time came. I met Jeff when I was 15, and knew right then that I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him. (It took a bit of convincing Jeff that he should marry me! ;-)
When Jeff and I were married, he decided that we were not going to drink alcohol at all anymore. It had caused us enough troubles and we knew it just wasn't going to help us on the road of marriage. He was very adamant about it and it made sense to me, so since that day almost 20 years ago neither one of us has ever touched a drop of alcohol. Looking back I can see how it was God directing the steps of a good man (Psalm 37:23) because that decision alone has helped us make some very sober decisions that lay ahead.
With Jeff's job in Cutco, he had a lot of opportunities to be inside the homes of many, many families. He observed that those who had well behaved, happy, polite children had two things: a stay at home mom and 'religion'. So another issue we both agreed on was that it would be best when we had children to have the mom stay at home. (That would be me.) We both had mothers that stayed home with us, and we are ever so thankful, and could see a lot of good in that. I didn't think that much of it at the time because we weren't 'planning' to have children for at least 5 years. Well, God thought different and decided to give us children. I miscarried my first pregnancy and was left concerned if we ever could have children. I was shocked and scared when I found out I was pregnant again, but with in those 9 months God was working on my mothers' heart. A love was developing that was deeper and wider than I have ever experienced before!
We loved being parents and enjoyed each and every milestone in complete amazement! After we had a 2 year old who was becoming a bit sassy, and a very colicky 6 month old, I was a bit weary and unhappy with this me-stay-at-home decision. I had a very selfish and sinful heart! I thought to myself, all I do is wipe! I wipe bottoms, toilets and counters, I just wipe all day! It wasn't the glamorous life I had hoped for. I was used to being paid and rewarded for the dirty jobs.
Also at that time we were having other difficulties in our life, marriage, and finances that were becoming mountains, so we decided it might help to try to go to church. We were not strongly convinced that this was the answer, since we didn't think church did much for us growing up. It didn't keep us from sin; we were amazed that for as much as we had gone to church, we knew very little about what the Bible actually said. Jeff had just gotten a computer and internet access through work and I actually wanted to write a book to tell people that religion is just a hoax, they just want your money, and none of it is true anyway. We were living proof that it didn't work for us. We would stay up late researching after the kids were in bed, taking turns sleeping in and getting up with the kids in the morning. We tried to disprove the Bible, to confirm our atheist belief at that time, and show what a waste religion was. However, we couldn't do it. All of history supported the Biblical facts, and the Biblical facts supported all of history! So, we got to thinking, that if the Bible really was true, maybe we should know what it says.
We had no idea that it was written by over 40 men, over a span of 400 years, and with 100% accuracy. We started reading, and reading, and reading. It's a huge book! 2 Timothy 3:16 "All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." We were quickly convicted that we needed to start attending a church. We went to a familiar denomination down the street, and there the pastor told jokes, it was just a comedic hour. We knew with our circumstances at the time that we had no business going to church and laughing. We weren't challenged or encouraged to purge or turn from any sin in our life. We weren't encouraged to live a life obediently to His Word. Romans 6:23
'For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

So Jeff found an article in the paper about a pastor that was celebrating 40 years of preaching the 'truth of God'. That sounded appealing to us, and we went to this Bible-believing church off and on, hearing truth, but not wanting to acknowledge our sinfulness. After all, we were nice people, did nice things for the most part, had never been in jail, and had never killed anyone. This presumption of course was according to our human standards, not God's holy standards. Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

Meanwhile I had joined a wonderful group of ladies that kind of took me under their wing. I'm sure I was quite a project in their eyes at the time. They were a great example of godly Titus 2 women - meek and quiet, serving hearts,and happy, happy children. I was naturally drawn to them, and enjoyed their weekly Bible studies on wife and motherhood.

As we started to grow in our knowledge, I started to see myself for the sinner I really was. It took a while for my pride to let God's truth get to my heart, but I will never forget that moment 15 yrs and 1/2 years ago...in the month of February...I was home with the kids, Robbie was a fussy 6 month baby, andcried most of the time. And Megan, 2 at the time, had just made a huge mess of the living room. I had had enough! I screamed at her, something I had promised my whole life I would never do to my children, but I laid into her pretty thick. She just stood there and looked at me, shocked, like she didn't know who I was. I will never forget that look as long as I live! I had heard enough of God's truth to know that I could never fulfill my desire to be a good mother on my own, in my own strength. Isa 64:6 "For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away." I knew from John chapter 3 what I needed to do. John 3:3 "Jesus answered and said to him, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." I needed to confess; repent (not just be sorry for sin, but to turn away from it); and trust in Jesus' death on the cross as payment for my sins (canceling my debt and giving me eternal life in heaven); accept forgiveness and become a new creature living for Him.

At that moment, I took all my tears and sat at the bottom of our stairs and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. I knew my own strength to be a good wife and mother, to do right, to end my selfishness, was falling short in every area. I asked God to forgive me of my mountain of lifelong sins and help me change my sinful, selfish ways, and I knew He had the power to make even me a new creature. Christ did change me, Jeff noticed a change in me, and 3 weeks later he got saved too! We were baptized together as a public testimony of our obedience to Christ. Acts 2:38 Then Peter said to them, "Repent and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." And that was the beginning of a desire to live a life fully surrendered to Christ and His Word. It's been the very best decision we have ever made! Absolutely no regrets! And to think where we were 15 years ago, to where we are now and how drastically God has changed our lives for the better, still amazes us!

Things that were once enjoyable are no longer tolerable. Things that God hates became things that we hated, and things that God thought worthy became important to us. This doesn't mean that we are now perfect, because we are not! We are still sinners in need of grace and mercy and forgiveness. But things are definately different in that we no longer enjoy sin or desire to partake in it or put ourselves in it's surroundings. There is a saying that 'sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay'. Some of our older children are now saved also and what a blessing to see their hearts changed! It's a constant reminder how we are born sinners having little ones in the house. You never have to teach them to hit, bite, steal a toy from someone else, lie, or be angry. In fact it's a constant job to train their sinful hearts to think of others first, be kind and loving, serve one another. As parents we can try hard to make outward changes to conform, but only God can truly change the heart!

We are so thankful for Christ, and the evidence of His salvation in our family. His way is perfect! And the joy and peace that only He blesses with passes ALL understanding! If you have never made such a decision in your life, and are not able to point to a time in your life where you know things changed, I beg you to search the Scriptures! The Bible says that these things were written that you may KNOW that you have eternal life! We don't have to hope we get to heaven, we can know for certain! Please consider such an important decision, because you may not have tomorrow to do so! O how He loves you!

How it all began

I love blogging. I have kept journals for over 30 years so it seems a natural transition. One reason I wanted to start this was to give tribute to all the women who have blessed me with their Titus 2 teaching. I am ever so grateful for all that I have learned from all the women in my life! I also wanted to leave something for my girls, maybe even my future daughter - in - laws, neices, my granddaughters, whoever, of who I am, what makes me tick and how I came to be where I am at now. So let's get started on this very exciting adventure!