Put On Love

In seeking wisdom about adopting we've received a wide span of advice.  From 'Don't do it, it's too hard!' to 'It's the most incredible blessing ever!'  That seems confusing to someone considering such a huge undertaking!

The nays say it's too hard to really and truly love a child that's not yours, that's not your true bloodline.  But I've seen too many families that have proved this wrong!  Families that have adopted or even blended families can either do this really well or unfortunately sometimes not.

So to sort it out in my own mind I compare it to what Christ did for us.  He loved us while we were sinners (Romans 5:8  God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.)  And of course if you have or have been around children, they are sinners.  At times it can even be hard to like a child being extremely difficult and challenging, bloodline or not, but we still need to love them.  That may be the exact reason why a child would act in such a sinful manner, searching to see if they are truly loved.  It would never be the child's fault for not being or feeling loved, that weighs solely and completely on the parent.

God is love.  He defines it and gives us the desire for it.  It's completely our responsibility as parents to teach and exemplify love, in all occasions, through all trials, no matter how challenging or difficult it may be.  And if we ever fall short, we should be quick to repent and change OUR hearts!  Colossians 3 covers this beautifully.

Verse 5 says, "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."  These are deceitful things that can draw our love away.  There are projects, entertainment, even serving that can distract us from loving our children.  Deuteronomy 6:5-7, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  We need to be teaching love all the day long. 

Verses 7 and 8, "In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.  But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth."  We were there, we were and still are sinners, Christ died for us!  For me!

So then we have verse 12 and 13, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."

And nothing could wrap it up better than verses 14 and 15, "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful."

No matter what child comes across your path, since God created them, thank Him, and love them with a diligence that would never for a moment allow them to question the power of love!  Love earnestly!

Jeff has a Facebook page called 'Followers of Christ' that he post on almost daily, this was a recent favorite of mine. 

You Don’t Want That: A Moral Life (Joe Thorn)

I have these memories of my mother asking me, “What do you want for Christmas, Joey?” And, like most kids who are asked such a question I was ready with my answer(s). This was before the internet and Amazon “wish lists,” but I cataloged commercials in my brain and ranked the toys I wanted from must-have or I’ll die, down to must-have or I’ll almost die. Sometimes I would say, “I want a [random toy from 1981]!” to which my mom would reply matter-of-factly, “Oh, you don’t want that.”

I remember thinking to myself, “You just asked me what I wanted. I told you what I want, and then you tell me I don’t really want that thing?!”

Of course, what I didn’t understand then is that my mother had knowledge I did not have. She knew that some toys I desired were junk and would leave me frustrated and dissatisfied. What she was saying to me was, “You want what is being promised, but that thing cannot give you what it offers.”

This is a lesson I think we all need to continue to learn.

I hope you will refuse to settle for a moral life. The temptation is great, and you will find it appealing, but if you choose a moral life for yourself you will ultimately experience an aimless wandering that bears no fruit.

You want what is being promised, but that thing cannot give you what it offers. Why would I object to a moral life? It’s not like a moral life is an ugly thing. And I understand the appeal. It’s all about doing the right thing. We should do the right thing. In fact, doing the right thing has become such a rarity that it grabs our attention when people at least attempt it. What’s not to like about it? A moral life is one of obedience to the law; of discipline and consistency. Who could object to doing well, or being good? Well, these are not bad things, but on their own they will disappoint because we were not created by God (and recreated through the gospel) to be merely moral, but godly. You don’t want a moral life. You want a godly life.

This is one of my great hopes for my family and church; that we would not pursue morality, but godliness– and there is a real difference between the two. The difference has to do with purpose and power.

The purpose or goal of the moral life is generally limited to a good performance. This doesn’t make it insincere. It just means that its purpose is no greater than the commands it follows. A godly life, however, has a purpose that goes beyond the imperative to the God who has commanded us. The purpose of a godly life is to reflect the beauty of our Maker and Redeemer through a life lived according to his will and ways. Think of it this way, the moral life is lived for the command, a godly life is lived for the Commander. And the difference between a moral and a godly life is not only the purpose that guides it, but also the power that drives it.

The moral life generally finds its power in the will. Success is found in our ability to make hard (but good) choices and carrying out hard (but good) work. The godly life, too, involves such work, but the power to pull it off is not found in our own strength, but in a strength God provides by the gospel. As Paul wrote in Phil. 2:12, 13, “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”

You don’t want a moral life. A moral life is rooted in law, powered by will, and focused on self. You want a godly life. A life rooted in gospel, powered by sanctifying grace, and focused on God.

Control

This is going to be a tough subject, and I've been praying that what I want to share comes across gentle and loving, because I certainly want it to. 

When we first became Christians, within a few months I began to understand what submission meant.  I knew what God intended it to be and the 'why' behind it. I was surrounded by wonderful examples of such.  I also knew my past nature and I knew that I had quite a challenge before me to conform to God's word in this area.
 
I always thought that if I didn't get my own way I just had to get louder, cry, or pitch a fit until I did.  I also observed, that there were other ways to control;  silence treatments, withdrawing emotionally and physically, slamming doors, walking out, belittling, threatening, and even abuse. 

So when I saw a book called "The Control Trap" by Barbara A. Sullivan, it perked my interest.  It was a life transforming book. I like to underline important things in a book for quick reference if I ever have to go back through, and I underlined A LOT in this book!

Barbara Sullivan is very wise and knowledgable in this area.  She did her homework.  And she's very straight forward!  She doesn't sugar coat much at all. 

I think control is a huge source of contention involving women.  With their husbands, children, neighbors, and friends.  It's definitely a must read! Do I agree with everything?  Nope, but the good far outweighs that!

One of my favorite quotes from my hubby's sermon's is  "We should be conforming ourselves to be like Christ, not conforming others to be like us."

Lies

This could be a post on how good the book "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss is, because I think it's a fabulous book!  But for now I want to share about the lies women tell.

It could be that we inherited it from our gender, we tend to be a bit more manipulative and deceitful.  Men don't seem to have a problem telling it like it is.  But I have found that women seem to find it a bit easier to lie.  It could be because we're more tender hearted and find it more difficult to be truthful and honest for fear of hurting someone.  But regardless of the reason, it's wrong, and it's a sin against God.  A sin that God declares He hates!  John 8:44 says, "You are of (your) father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do.  He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he speaks a lie he speaks from his own (resources), for he is a liar and the father of it. 

God has also said in Numbers 32:23 "But if you will not do so, behold, you have sinned against the LORD, and be sure your sin will find you out."  So it may be easier temporarily, and the consequences may not be immediate, but be assured, in the long run it will not go well with you.  God knows, and loves us way too much to allow you to do something so harmful and destructive. 

It's hurtful, and it's hard to build back trust once you've been lied to.  Sometimes it's never built back.  Usually people who lie once will lie again and it becomes habit.  I was personally convicted of my own testimony in this area when our children were young.  We were determined and committed to never put our children in a position to have to question our trustworthiness. We didn't want them to ever hear us say to someone on the phone that the other wasn't here, when they were.  And honesty shouldn't be just for our audience, because we're always an audience of One, God, whether it's reporting taxes, or returning too much change, the list could go on forever.  We don't ever want our kids to see hypocrisy in us so that they could justify it in their own lives.  Right and wrong HAS to be determined by what God says, not by what we justify. 

Matthew 5:37  Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No'; anything more than this comes from evil.

James 5:12  But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.

Isaiah 5:20-21  "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!  Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight! 

By justifying lying, or any 'little' thing, it stirs up pride and causes us to think that we can make the rules.  Instead of God's written word as our guidelines.  But if we love Him we will keep His commandments!  Be strong in the Lord, be bold if you have to, but always, always be honest!


Exd. 20:6 but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments

Deu 5:10 but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments

Deu 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,

Deu 11:1 "You shall therefore love the LORD your God and keep his charge, his statutes, his rules, and his commandments always.

Jos 22:5 Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul."

Neh 1:5 And I said, "O LORD God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments

Dan 9:4 I prayed to the LORD my God and made confession, saying, "O Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments

Jhn 14:15 "If you love me, you will keep my commandments

Jhn 15:10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love

1Jo 5:3 For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

Sin must be so incredibly grievous in the eyes of God for Him to make death a consequence.
What sorrow He must have from every little disobedience, sin from the greatest to the least, to have us experience the pure seperation that only death can bring.

What I don't want for Mother's Day....

It doesn't take much to make me happy!  A hug, conversation, and if you want to go extreme, unsweetened ice tea!  But I have a list of things I don't want for Mother's day:

1.)  I don't want to be away from my husband and children! 

The things that allow me to celebrate such a wonderful gift as motherhood are just what I want to surround myself with on such a day!  I hope and pray that my kids will never have to hear me say that I need or want to be away from them, regardless of the day. 

2.)  I don't want anything fancy or frilly! 

Save those big bucks for our adoption fund because I'd really LOVE to have another baby!  Besides, I'm the one who gets to be a mom, I should be buying gifts for everyone else!  (It's a little late for such a thought, but maybe next year! ;-)

3.) Last but not least, I don't want to do laundry or match socks!

Which means Monday will be gruesome!  ;-)  I know it'll be a delightful Mother's Day! 

A Mother's Love

As a mother loves her child, fulfilling every need,
with a gentle touch and smile, such love is pure indeed.
So our Savior loves each one, who humbly kneels to pray,
he who asks to be God's child, will hear the Father say.

I am your God on high,
I will your need supply,
As in a mother's care,
My love I freely share.
If you will ask of me
I will sufficient be
As in a mother's care,
My love I freely share.

Only mother's voice can soothe the sorrows of the day.
She can all the pain remove in such a tender way.
God the Father hears our cry, and comforts when we pray.
He who asks to be God's child will hear the Father say.

I am your God on high,
I will your need supply,
As in a mother's care,
My love I freely share.
If you will ask of me
I will sufficient be
As in a mother's care,
My love I freely share.

Hypocrite!

Did that get your attention?  It sure gets mine!  We were at the air show and in front of us was a Mennonite family.  They were dressed in a way that was different from the world, plain, modest clothing.  Their haircuts and head coverings also gave way to the idea that they were 'religious' folks.  But their actions and language proved different.  They didn't act like they read or live by God's word.  And I was surprised at how hypocritical it seemed to me. 

I so desperately wanted to ask them if they knew how to get to heaven?  Maybe they thought that if they dress a certain way or do certain things this will bring favor from God.  Isaiah 64:6 "But we are like an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are like filthy rags;  we fade as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away."  Maybe they had just done what their parents had told them and didn't have a need to understand the why? 

When I worked as a bank teller they taught us how to look for counterfeit money.  Interestingly enough they didn't show us all the different ways that people have frauded money, they taught us how real money was made.  We learned what it feels like, what it's made of, the designs, numbers and everything that made a true bill.  So I associated this with Christianity.  We learn truth, from reading the Bible, so we know what it means to be a Christian.  We try to be that example for our children, so that they see truth, because kids pick up on it so quickly.  I believe that hypocrisy is the seed to rebellion in children.  But God sees the heart of every one of us!  And each of us will have to stand before Him one day. 

The experience has been hard to get out of my mind, and I am constantly thinking about how and in what areas in my life I appear hypocritical.  I pray that I am humble enough to do as 2 Corinthians 13:5 says, "Examine yourseles, to see whether you are in the faith.  Test yourselves.  Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? --unless indeed you fail to meet the test!"  Because Matthew 12:33-37 says, "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit.  You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.  I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."