The Mother of Adult Children? Me?

In complete amazement of how fast this life passes by, it's happened to me.  2 adult children, and 6 to go!  Our oldest is married, and though it took me a year to tell her this story, I was so thankful she laughed.  I gave warning to be patient as I'm new to all this!
It's very important to me to be a kind, loving, encouraging, mother and mother-in-law!  Having no training in this new phase of life, we're flying by the seat of our pants!
Being a pastor's wife, shopping at Wal-mart, and just experiencing plain ole life you see a lot of what you want and don't want to do.  So I made mental notes of "deal with sin, ignore preference" and I have a note on my dresser from one of Jeff's sermons that says, "We should encourage people to be more like Christ, not to be like us".
So what do I do?
Upon a visit to my adult, happily married daughter's new home, I find myself shocked that she doesn't use the same dish soap that we have always used!  That's where my heart goes!  I know, it's embarrassing!  But I've put a lot of thought in to my dish soap!  I want the suds to last and not leave a film on dishes, blah, blah, blah.  So why would I even care what someone else uses?  Wouldn't I be grateful that I have a daughter smart enough to buy her own dish soap?  Wouldn't I count the abundant blessings in seeing her build her home in such a Christ honoring way?  Nope, I concern myself about dish soap.  I am so pathetic!
So when I came across this book, I just knew I had to read it and it was wonderful! Not only giving me insight in my own life, but also in the ministry.

So now, I'm a bit wiser, in the dish soap arena anyway.  I even went and bought every new dish soap  available just to break the idol of my previous one!  (Though I did go back to my old tried and true favorite dish soap, it no longer bothers me which soap other people use!  Freedom!)  (Probably more of a control issue which I have some good books on that too for another post! )  God help me!  God help my kids!  May I love them unconditionally, rebuke sin if needed, and never ever be concerned about dish soap again!

Galations 5:13  For you were called to freedom, brothers.  Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

But God

I didn't take the time to count them all, or even read them all yet, but these simple words "but God" occur approximately 592 times depending on which version you prefer.

I think it is truly biblical to share our woes and burdens with one another, asking for prayer, seeking wise counsel, just thinking out loud is helpful.  But I pray that I can always finish my struggles with a hearty "but God"!

There can be some hard things to deal with, health issues, death, divorce, hurt and sins, things that can consume our thoughts if we allow them to.  If we allow them to then it quickly becomes all about us.  That gets heavier all the time.  But God....

If I can train my mind (Romans 12:1-2) to always add the "but God..." then I'm turning that focus and purpose back to Christ.  It renews my mind that there is a purpose, far greater than my difficulty.

"This is really hard...but God promises..."

"I'm heartbroken...but God loves..."

It reminds me that God loves me with an everlasting, unchanging, pure love.  It reminds me that God allows difficulties for our own good, even if we can't see it at the time.  It reminds me that God is all powerful, creating this amazing world.  It reminds me that God is not taken by surprise and can handle even the most difficult situations.  No buts about it!

Psalm 73:26  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Put On Love

In seeking wisdom about adopting we've received a wide span of advice.  From 'Don't do it, it's too hard!' to 'It's the most incredible blessing ever!'  That seems confusing to someone considering such a huge undertaking!

The nays say it's too hard to really and truly love a child that's not yours, that's not your true bloodline.  But I've seen too many families that have proved this wrong!  Families that have adopted or even blended families can either do this really well or unfortunately sometimes not.

So to sort it out in my own mind I compare it to what Christ did for us.  He loved us while we were sinners (Romans 5:8  God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.)  And of course if you have or have been around children, they are sinners.  At times it can even be hard to like a child being extremely difficult and challenging, bloodline or not, but we still need to love them.  That may be the exact reason why a child would act in such a sinful manner, searching to see if they are truly loved.  It would never be the child's fault for not being or feeling loved, that weighs solely and completely on the parent.

God is love.  He defines it and gives us the desire for it.  It's completely our responsibility as parents to teach and exemplify love, in all occasions, through all trials, no matter how challenging or difficult it may be.  And if we ever fall short, we should be quick to repent and change OUR hearts!  Colossians 3 covers this beautifully.

Verse 5 says, "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry."  These are deceitful things that can draw our love away.  There are projects, entertainment, even serving that can distract us from loving our children.  Deuteronomy 6:5-7, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  We need to be teaching love all the day long. 

Verses 7 and 8, "In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.  But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth."  We were there, we were and still are sinners, Christ died for us!  For me!

So then we have verse 12 and 13, "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."

1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."

And nothing could wrap it up better than verses 14 and 15, "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.  And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful."

No matter what child comes across your path, since God created them, thank Him, and love them with a diligence that would never for a moment allow them to question the power of love!  Love earnestly!